I have never done this before, and as they say, there really is a first time for everything. I am posting from Teri’s room. It’s strange because I am trying to type on a foreign keyboard. However, I have decided I have things to say, and I am going to get them out right now.

For the first time in a very long time, I feel like I am winning. I’m not just winning small battles, or pretending I am winning to try to feel better, but actually winning. I just got the paperwork from Rebecca’s lawyer finalizing the custody terms for Samantha, and although there are a few typographical errors, which require correction, I am happy with the details.

For those of you that keep asking me over and over again. Samantha will be placed in daycare on half of the days that I work, and my mom’s care the other half. The bonus to this is that I will have a better excuse to visit my mom a little more often.

Which is the direction I am going with this blog right now. Family is quite possibly the most undervalued necessity in life. People nowadays consider family to be a piggy bank, a burden, or a crutch. I’ve spent years trying hard not to do either, and ultimately doing all three at some point in my life. However, that is part of the beauty of family. Even if you cross the line a good family is willing to say something about it, forgive you, and remind you every once in a while so you don’t do it again.

Most of my family is a good family. There are branches on these trees which need a little bit more “special care” and possibly even some pruning. Though it is okay as a family member to point out the inconsistencies of their actions, flat out making wild accusations and comments based on your own jaded belief system is wrong to anyone and double wrong amongst family. For years I have refrained from making the comments about how a PhysEd Teacher couldn’t seem to keep her weight under control even prior to her kids, but recently, I could honestly care less.

The reason for all of this is that I am about to lose two of the most influential members of my family probably sooner than I want to admit. Even though I know they are not invincible, for years they have always felt too strong to ever be beaten by the things that they are fighting against now. Both sides of my family have had their own internal struggles mostly stemming from their failure to realize that family isn’t just something you abandon or something you manipulate. Family is something you keep close to you and remind you that life’s worth more than you sometimes give it credit for. Family is something that will love you even if you may have been less than civil as a person. Family is a system that will keep itself together as long as it wants to be together. When these members of my family die, I fear the families will go with them.

Don’t ever forget that your family helped put you where you are now. Even if they’ve been gone for a long time, or they just recently left your life, they’ve been there for you. Maybe not the family you thought, or the way you wanted them to be, but I’m sure if you take a step back and see the big picture you’ll see the family that made you who you are.