I’ve had a lot on my mind for the last few days and haven’t really been able to clear out the overwhelming number of thoughts and choices that are running through my head. I’ve needed someone to talk to and just get an unbiased opinion from. Tonight, I got that and a lot of good advice. I’ve been struggling with a lot of choices. My emotions have been twisted in a million different directions and I can’t seem to figure out which ones are the ones I am acting on.

Right now though, I know the one thing that I want more than anything else. I want to be happy. Samantha has been reminding me of what being cared about really feels like. I never thought that anyone could ever want someone so much, and it really feels good. A great deal of my attention has been focused on trying to spend time with her.

However, Samantha reminds me of something I seemed to have forgotten. I have to be willing to fight for the things I don’t want to lose and only stop when I know that I have crossed the line, and I cannot accept just giving up this easy anymore, I have earned the right to have the things I want in my life. Besides, I’m way passed the point that it could hurt me any less.

I’m going to be taking my life in a very different direction now, I’ve been wanting to sort of go with the way my life wants to go for the last several weeks now, and it’s high time I started doing it. I felt happier when I just took the actions I knew I needed to take and I let the things I didn’t need to do work them out. Time to just see what happens when I do this…