I don’t normally get invited to anything private, until today. I am now a user of Google Voice. For those of you who do not know what this is, Google Voice is a method of VOIP Telephone which functions a little bit different than most VOIP systems. To simplify, The Lich’s Lair will be utilizing Google Voice as an enhanced voicemail system. What used to take hours should now take minutes. In addition, any calls to the business which get forwarded to my phone will be identified as calls to the business. This means that I will be able to answer the phone more appropriately based on the call.

In other news, I just got my GenCon assignments and it is looking like a fun weekend for me. I am running 4 slots, but have only 3 different modules to learn. I’m a little nervous, but totally looking forward to doing this. I have a very early slot on Sunday though, and I am a little concerned I will be late, but only time will tell.

Since it seems to ensure a viewer count over 80, I will mention Teri. Just to mention her. I still read her blog and have an opinion about the sort of hodge-podgedness of her current layout, but I get what she was going for.

To clarify exactly why though, I get a viewer count of 200 or more every time I have involved her in one of my posts. That’s great for my google ads. It’s amazing that a relationship that ended so quickly and didn’t have an extended fallout has been so beneficially to the growth of my blog.

I had to take the day off work today because I couldn’t find anyone to watch Samantha. It’s my fault; I was a little under prepared for things. I forgot we were going to need her medical records to get her into the daycare. Things are organized for Wed and Thurs though, she’ll be with her Grandma.

Samantha is an awesome child. I know most parents say that about their children, but she is relatively well behaved. She’s a bit of trouble when I have her at the store, but there is good reason for that. She’s still only a year old and doesn’t full respond to instructions very well, but she is learning.

I know this wasn’t my usual highly opinionated entry, but I felt I needed a break from that for just a moment. Every once in a while I might drop an update in here.

Oh and the store is still alive. For how long though I cannot be fully sure. Wish us the best.

It’s amazing how you can send a friendly e-mail and have it end up creating hatred. Just as I am sure this blog entry will also produce some flavorful commenteri. Yeah, that’s a little passive aggressive, but hey if everyone else can act childish, I’m going to take a moment and do it as well.

On the lighter side of things, I’m trying really hard to gain a more enhanced outlook on life. I’ve spent a lot of time critiquing the things people do and being outright argumentative. It’s a bit of a hard flaw to erase. The last few days, every time I think I’m getting better at getting it into check I catch myself doing it again. Today I did it in a discussion about Tokens in Standard and in a conversation with someone about our lives.

This is step one because I even catch myself doing this with myself. Its part of the reason I have made some really poor decisions. If I don’t mater this I won’t be able to just go with it. I will instead constantly try to convince myself to take some other course of action. You know that when you’re tired of arguing with yourself that you probably argue too much.

I have a lot of great characteristics, but there are a lot of things about me that even I am starting to dislike. This blog has been helping me see that more clearly. I hope that in a few months I can look back and read the progression and say to myself that I’ve come a long way.

I’ve had a lot on my mind for the last few days and haven’t really been able to clear out the overwhelming number of thoughts and choices that are running through my head. I’ve needed someone to talk to and just get an unbiased opinion from. Tonight, I got that and a lot of good advice. I’ve been struggling with a lot of choices. My emotions have been twisted in a million different directions and I can’t seem to figure out which ones are the ones I am acting on.

Right now though, I know the one thing that I want more than anything else. I want to be happy. Samantha has been reminding me of what being cared about really feels like. I never thought that anyone could ever want someone so much, and it really feels good. A great deal of my attention has been focused on trying to spend time with her.

However, Samantha reminds me of something I seemed to have forgotten. I have to be willing to fight for the things I don’t want to lose and only stop when I know that I have crossed the line, and I cannot accept just giving up this easy anymore, I have earned the right to have the things I want in my life. Besides, I’m way passed the point that it could hurt me any less.

I’m going to be taking my life in a very different direction now, I’ve been wanting to sort of go with the way my life wants to go for the last several weeks now, and it’s high time I started doing it. I felt happier when I just took the actions I knew I needed to take and I let the things I didn’t need to do work them out. Time to just see what happens when I do this…

I am beginning to think I should have painful breakups with people more often. This is only partially a joke, though. I’ve actually started to realize that maybe ending relationships isn’t such a bad thing. I leaned a lot from the end of my last two relationships, and I think I know exactly what it is I am interested in right now and that is to stop looking for what I am interested in.

Right now what I want is an expanded friendship. Let’s not confuse that with a “friends with benefits” scenario, because that is quite different. When I started things with Teri, my intentions were to have a relationship where we were a couple who focused more on the fun aspect and less on the future aspect. I love the more casual parts of a relationship, going out to dinner, watching movies, playing games, random calls just to talk to someone valuable, and the like. In a “friends with benefits” you tend not to get a lot of the dating aspects of the friendship.

I would, however, like to have someone who is challenging. Not just in a relationship partner, in anything. I tend to operate better at accomplishing a goal when there is someone else doing it with me or against me. Right now, I have wanted to spend more time being active and just hanging out with people.

I don’t mean for this to sound like a dating profile forum, it’s more so just a way to let people know I’m just trying to find some way to be able to enjoy myself. With the store having financial troubles and my career placing an immense amount of stress on my shoulders, anything that lets me take my mind off of things for a few hours is a blessing.

This has become more rambling than I care to handle. This post sucks, but I’m going to put it up anyway, because…. I don’t have a good excuse, but I wrote it and that’s that.

For those of you that had a chance to read my Myspace posts, you are aware of the comments I will never forget portions of my posts. I want to add one to this that will forever be embossed upon the deepest depths of my brain for a long time to come, “I don’t have the same feelings for you that you have for me.” This phrase has been haunting my mind every day for the last several days. What is it supposed to mean? I was in a relationship where I was just going with things. I was happy and having fun trying to learn about someone that I found genuinely interesting. I wasn’t out shopping for rings and talking about my future.

Enough about that, it’s time to take my behind out of the past and look forward to right now, which is this blog post. Samantha is falling asleep and I am somewhat tired myself. In fact the last few days have been quite exhausting. Sundays drive was boring and today was filled with nothing but headache after headache. It’s really interesting how someone will rip into you for trying to make sure that the client who consistently gives us money is not as valuable as a client who has never paid us before, and then to get back to the office and discover that they are getting ready to give us even more money and still notice that your boss can’t do the math. I guess it must be great to feel like your 60 – 80 thousand dollar asset will also take abuse and roll with it.

And then sometimes you read things which you know you weren’t supposed to read. Not because they were made private and you found your way into them, but because your attention to detail when trying to blog is outstanding as long as the detail isn’t within the blog. I am going to cut this short, so I can head to bed. All I can say is that during what has been a very eye opening week to me, I can’t figure out why I am so damn tired.