For years I have always thought of myself as a good communicator. However, in the last few years I have had it brought to my attention that some of the ways I communicate have been rather rude, or at least so I am told. When enough isolated people tell you that certain mannerisms you had may be impeding your ability to have a positive relationship with people, you start to realize that there must be a reason.

As I have had it informed to me, and not directly I might add (and yes this is actually said with the tone it sounds like, I tend to type the way I speak), I tend to speak down to people when engaged in an argument. To be quite sincere however, it is not a trait I have really felt so bad for doing though. As of the present, the only people who seem to get offended by it our people who tend not to be too terribly sure of their own opinions, hence the trouble in being able to say something about this to me directly. If you feel this includes you, it probably does. If you want to get mad and go tell someone else, then don’t expect me to change my opinion.

When I began this blog, my intention was to take a scenario and apply my personally crooked opinion to it. The intent wasn’t even to garner a fan base, I just wanted to have another outlet for personal expression of opinion.

Apparently, however, the method of expressing opinions is such a problem that people will allow it to change the way they treat and interact with other people. People find themselves unable to confront their problems head on and they make excuses for why they use surrogates to get the job done.

Again, if this feels like a personally attack on anyone, let me inform you that this is not directed at anyone. I’m sick of failed communication with people and my attitude of speaking down to people cannot end unless people can site some examples. So I urge you, if you feel that this is a problem and you want to explain to me what it is that was done and why it makes you feel so sad then reply and let me know. Otherwise, get over it.

I have always learned that when you feel strongly about something you have to commit yourself to feeling that it is the right answer and that you have the right answer. As many people have experienced I tend to come off as being either liberal or conservative to which I will remind all of you I am neither. I enjoy taking the opposed stance in an argument though and standing my ground. However, if you would like to have an open discussion, prepare to experience a difference scenario all together.

Communication is one of the best parts of being a human being. Failure to communicate is one of the greatest threats to our social existence. Be a part of life, communicate. You can find out some great things about people when you take a moment to tell them they are doing something you don’t like and people aren’t going to change the way they treat you unless you give them a reason to.

Have you ever tried to do something, but could only remember to do it while you were in locations which didn’t give you access to the things you wanted to do. This is the perpetual state I have been in for the last few years. I have been trying to get the new logo spread around quite a bit. Now that I think I have the proper coloring down for it I would like to get all of our promotional materials printed up and displayed. Unfortunately, I forgot to save the work to the company machine and instead left it on the comic shop’s machine. Fail!

It took me two weeks to remember that I needed to do laundry any time other than when I was in the north suburbs. Today, I actually got my laundry done. Well, part of it anyway. Damnit, I forgot to put the load in the washing machine. Fixed!

Finally downloaded more episodes of The Whistler…

Whistler, The
CAST: Bill Forman, Marvin Miller, Everett Clarke, Doris Singleton, Lurene Tuttle, Jack Webb, Hy Averback, Joe Kearns, Paul Frees, Howard Culver, Charlotte Lawrence, John Dehner, Mary Shipp, Elliott Lewis, Jack Moyles, Charles Seel
ANNOUNCERS: Marvin Miller
PRODUCERS/DIRECTORS: George Allen, Sherman Marks, Sterling Tracy
SOUND EFFECTS: Berne Surrey, Gene Twombly
MUSICAL DIRECTOR AND ORIGINAL MUSIC SCORE: Wilbur Hatch, Dorothy Roberts did the whistling
The Whistler – 1942-1948
The show first broadcast its fantastic thirty-minute crime mystery series in May 1942 and did not finish until September 1948. There were more than 450 shows of murder and intrigue in all. Although it ran for 6 years it was broadcast for only one year on a national network. The show opened to the sound of footsteps and an eerie whistle, which went on throughout the introductory music. The Whistler always began the show with the opening lines; I am the Whistler, and I know many things, for I walk by night. I know many strange tales, many secrets hidden in the hearts of men and women who have stepped into the shadows. Yes, I know the nameless terrors of which they dare not speak…”

This only took me a little over a month to remember. I hate my awful memory.

Why is it that life doesn’t have any hacks or enhancers? I could really use some kind of undelete or undo button for my brain so I could at least go back a few thoughts.

Silence is not one of my favorite things in the world; in fact, it’s one of those things that I hate. So being without the ability to communicate with a large part of my universe because I have been moving has pretty much been weird. For me, any time I move it always results in another loss. This move I thought I was prepared for my losses. I was totally wrong.

Yesterday, Pablo, my pet bird, died. I’ve sort of been dreading the day, so in a way, seeing him dead wasn’t as traumatic as I expected it to be. Part of that bothered me though. When I came down and saw him laying there I didn’t cry. At first I was in disbelief, and then I realized it was true. My body, however, reacted as if this was just the usual goings on and proceeded into how to properly resolve this situation mode. Telling my mother, I felt some pain, but not what I had expected. I let out a few tears, but I kept feeling like, well it could have been worse.

In a lot of ways, I am sad to see Pablo go. Hearing him “cat call” was always one of my favorite parts of any given day. Watching him tear up cards and never back down from challenges eight times his size rank high on my answers to why this bird was awesome. That’s part of why it doesn’t hurt the way I think it should. Pablo lived a long life. He was always an awesome bird. He was very old, and everything was starting to bother him. The move was just too much for him.

I know for many people it’s just a bird and even this is a little more than I should probably be going into detail about, but Pablo was a part of my life. He was there through so many stages of it. It’s going to be weird not having him around, but I’m glad we could hang out while we could.

I hate days like today.

So far, the day has been about as boring as they come. I paid a few bills, the ones that I could, anyway and in a little bit I need to run and get some temporary supplies for the house. I had thought I was going to pack things up today, but then I realized that Sunday, Eric threw away all the boxes which had been stacked up for almost two weeks. I felt bad because I didn’t say anything, but I figured if they hadn’t moved after two weeks, they probably weren’t going anywhere. Oh well, I’ll get more on Wednesday and Friday. I would have rather played Arkham Asylum.

I’ve decided to try to give Teri a little more time to spend with her roommates and herself. Personally, it’s maddening. Monday is traditionally the day I am way too exhausted to do anything that involves traveling. I usually get home and just want to spend time talking, playing something, and then going to bed. Tonight, I will probably be going to bed early, after I run my errands and say goodnight to Samantha.

I’ve never really been the type to hate Mondays, but they always seem to hate me.

I hope you are reading this at a more reasonable time than I am writing it. Tonight I accomplished a lot, and yet, it still isn’t enough to help me sleep. I’m currently going through a phase which is common and I know will pass, but it is going to make the next few days difficult to deal with.

On a semi-related yet not closely related note, I think I might be going crazy, but definitely the good kind. As I have mentioned before, I have been spending a great deal of time with Teri, and as I have said I have felt pretty good about doing so. It has caused me to not be at the store as much as usual, but I feel that the time I have invested has been worth every moment. Before you think that this means I am crazy about Teri, stop. Teri is one thing I am very serious about, she’s not perfect and that’s one of the best things about her. I would never call what I feel about Teri crazy. I am going crazy because I feel happy and I am beginning to feel like that might be ok.

My whole life has been a constant struggle of fighting with being unhappy, becoming happy, and then having my happiness stripped away. Usually, the happiness I obtain is from compromising with me and accepting what I have as good. This time I went from an unhappy period straight to feeling like I just won some kind of super lottery drawing. I have a beautiful daughter who I will get the opportunity to start spending time with once some paperwork is solidified, the most awesome girlfriend that money couldn’t buy, a supportive friend base (even though sometimes I don’t accept that), and a very solid plan for my future. All of these things just seemed to start falling into place.

Which brings me to why I am terrified and in the state I am in. Life does tend to steal things away from me, and I can feel my subconscious somehow trying to bargain with it. I keep starting to create bad situations for myself. Thankfully nothing has been too dramatic, but I have to keep these under control. Right now, I am very happy with the direction my life is taking me.

To put this very simply, I have been able to spend the last few weeks being able to make someone happy because they are making me happy because I am making them happy, and the same is true for the inverse. I’ve been able to do a lot of things I really enjoy, but never get a chance to enjoy. I’ve also been doing a lot of things I don’t typically enjoy, but the scenario seems to change everything.

Now if only these next few days of over thinking would finally come to an end so I can get my mind back into focus.