Have you ever felt like sometimes the road you are looking at is the wrong road? The last two weeks have reminded me of what it is that I’ve been looking for. They reminded me what it is I missed most. They have left me with a feeling that is going to fill me with great pain for several weeks to come.

Being without Samantha left me with an empty feeling inside. Combined with the feeling I got because Rebecca was gone as well, the hole in my heart was making it hard to breathe. Seeing the way Samantha cares about me and the way she misses me is the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. I never thought that anyone would be so disappointed that I walked out of a room. Though when Samantha was gone she had a big piece of my heart, when she came back to me, she shared enough to make it all better.

That’s one of my favorite parts about love, real love. When it’s shared it grows. It doesn’t always last forever because it is fragile, but it is also beautiful and to not touch it and appreciate it would be a sin against love itself. You take chances that things will break, but if you’re extra careful it will survive even the toughest fall.

This is funny, because that’s part of why the end of things with Teri was so painful at first. Teri was someone who I had fun spending time with and she seemed to have fun spending time with me. I had always felt that even if what we had felt for each other wasn’t the kind of love that would go on forever, that in the end we would always be great friends. Instead I was told that friendship was impossible. How rude is that?

However, it didn’t take very long for me to open my eyes to the situation. I was already certain that we weren’t going to make it and I had no idea how long it was going to last. I knew her friends were not my biggest fans, and I knew I hated feeling like I had to walk on egg shells to not offend her friends. In truth, sometimes I felt like I was just watching the sands of an hourglass fall away. The only thing left about it all that bothers me was the last comment she said that will be burned into my mind forever, “I just don’t feel the same way about you that you feel about me.” I never got to learn what that meant. Did she think I wanted to marry her or did she start having feelings that she wanted to marry someone? From the day we started to pursue that relationship we had agreed to just go with things.

As a person who is constantly searching for answers to life’s little mysteries, I find myself forever fighting to understand what that comment really means. However, I know why it happened, and I know why she was put in my life. I’ve learned a lot these last two weeks about a lot of things. It’s time I stopped trying to do what I feel obligated to do, and start doing what I want to do.

I’m a 26 year old jack-of-all-trades entrepreneur with a brilliant mind, a rational set of goals, and an incredible talent for expression. I have everything I need to make the best of my life. For those of you who wish to drag me down, I will be here awaiting your challenge and for those of you who have helped to build me up, I wish you a life’s worth of the same.