It's been a while since I have thrown one of these together. I figured that by now I probably should though. I have been debating for some time what I wanted to do with this blog. Do I want to use it as a place to gripe or as a place to talk about what is going on in my life or do I want to talk about relevant things. The direction I have decided to go is that of relevance, but with some degree of feeling. I want to use this blog to discuss the things that go into running The Lair and what it is that goes through my head as time goes on.

I didn't realize this until recently, but a great deal of my customers are unaware that I still have a day job. People are often take by surprise when I mention that I work full time. On the opposite end though, people seem to treat me like I have money spewing out of my ass because of it. Believe me, I wouldn't be stressed out when my business's partners broke my equipment if the store was a profit epicenter. In fact the store is exactly the opposite. The store is one of the biggest money pits ever. Over the last year I have given the store the equivalent of two of my paychecks to pay for inventory to keep the store alive. This is not the words of a person complaining about it, just a point of reference for anyone who may think otherwise.

This business was a dream of mine. It has been since the very first day I walked into a store which ran CCG events. Little Bits And Things was where I began playing CCGs in groups. It was awesome. You came into a place filled with people and everyone knew who you were, and if they didn't, in a few days they would. People were always talking about the stuff you wanted to talk about, the game. I realized not too long into playing that this was what gaming was supposed to be about. It's like having a second home. You come in and people are happy to see you. Whether or not they like you, you are another player. You are part of the family and you add that special something that no one else can.

With the store in the position it is now, I find myself feeling depressed when I think about it. Often times I feel like parts of my family have drifted away. That happens sometimes and is to be expected, but I have lost so many of them I feel as if they have died. Part of the issue is that some people fit into roles, just as if they were a part of a family. Sometimes they hate the roles they play, but they miss out on how much they are valued. One person I wanted to point out most was a player that almost everyone knows, Aslan. Aslan got stuck with the least most fun role of all, the guy who get's defaulted on for being hazed. It's all meant in fun, but sometimes it can go too far or get misunderstood. Aslan was the kind of guy who might have felt that no one liked him, but I have had plenty of conversations where we remember having Aslan around and miss the fact that his isn't part of our family any more. He was a bit socially awkward, but he always seemed like he took an insult well. Probably because most of the time he felt like he was better than it, and even though no one would ever admit it we all knew it was true, at least until he quit showing up because of it.

He's not the only person from the family I miss. There are dozens of people I haven't seen in forever. Even ending Yu-Gi-Oh had a dynamic impact on how much I really enjoyed having the family so big. Some of you have heard me talk about how I miss the fact that it kept the business afloat so easy, but the truth is, sometimes I felt sort of like those kids were my own. It's probably why it bothered me so much watching some of the negative things they did, even though they had no effect on myself or the business.

They players are why I have put so much of my time, money, and soul into this business, but it gets harder every day when I get to see less and less of them. I would give anything to see some of our family return. Even the rumor that the Dave's have returned brought a light of joy to me. Hearing some old names I haven't heard in a while makes me feel like maybe it's not all a waste. Maybe there is still a reason to try to keep the game alive.