My wife and I met on the dating site OK Cupid exactly 8 years ago today. Her profile started off with a massive disclaimer stating that she was not interested in Sex. It was a very well put together profile and at the time, I was very angry at women and had been being very critical of their profiles and spent most of mine pointing out when they would make statements which they would oppose only a few paragraphs down the page and just generally acting like some sort of Dating Website Coach that no one asked for or wanted. When I read her profile I felt overwhelmed to reply with what might have been the worst first message in the history of internet dating.
Seriously
Please don’t take this the wrong way, but for someone laid back your opening seems really harsh. While I agree that sex should not be the primary focus of any relationship, I would think that mentioning the opposite of sex would also fall into not making sex the primary focus. Remember that people are more likely to think about whatever you say first, then anything else.
And please, don’t take this as a personal assault on your character, it is merely a suggestion and a point of opinion.
Sent May 7, 2009
I have asked her about it several times and to this day, even with what she says said I still never truly understood why she replied. Even now as I face the slow demise of our marriage I still cherish that message. I will always appreciate her reply and the conversations we have shared. She will always be one of the most special parts of my entire life and I will never forget this day and how overjoyed I felt later that day when she replied.
No offense taken. You’re quite right – it is pretty harsh. I put it up there because it seemed like every time I logged into OKCupid, I was bombarded by guys looking to hook up. I would have changed it a while ago, but I’m not actively seeking a dating relationship and it just hasn’t been a priority.
But you make a good point, and I will change it before logging off.
Thanks,
Teri
Thank you, Teri. Your reply changed my life. You helped steer me towards a better life. Whether you are a part of my life or not, I will always be thankful for the way you have helped shape it.